Category Archives: internet stuff

Vonnegut says it best

I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, and when Dwayne Hoover was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.

Armistice Day has become Veterans’ Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans’ Day is not. So I will throw Veterans’ Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don’t want to throw away any sacred things. What else is sacred? Oh, Romeo and Juliet, for instance.

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American Apathy

I’m not sure how many people remember Sherrice Iverson and her awful murder at the hands of a bastard at Primadonna Casino. But as a kid in Nevada at the time, her story completely shocked me out of the suburban-lull that had been riding bikes, beating up my younger brothers, and kicking ass at Street Fighter. This shocking episode made greater headlines when it was discovered that the murder’s friend witnessed the crime and ignored it. Nevada being one of the more horrendous States had no laws to prosecute the friend. Only after the fact did a bill pass, good-Samaritan laws so to speak.

This leads us today’s debacle at Penn State. Save a murder crime scene, the Penn State child-rapes are obtusely similar to the Sherrice Iverson case. To be honest, I’ve avoided this news like the plague. Luckily, my buddy Dan has some clear and charged words on the topic and on the flip-side he’s been mildly obsessed.

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So True

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Literal Captions, ugh

I enjoy the literal captions that are posted here, poking fun at the oh-so witty and cleverness of New Yorker readers and the over-educated elite. This one sucked though, they went with: “Did you remember to turn the oven off?” Might as well be: “Don’t forget to get the kids from school tomorrow.”

Seriously? It is literal captions, not boring run of the mill captions. Here we have a human-sized bug (with maybe human legs) in a bed with a woman, the Kafka jokes of course will be par for the course, but the literal bed-bug, news-bug, whatever jokes could be funny. Is it a person working undercover, hiding from the cops, in love with Halloween, trying to bug his wife… ? Anything but- did you remember to turn the oven off.

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The Future

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Thanks to my buddy Dan the man for the idea to turn my words of rage into a positive motivator.

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Doom!

This is awesome enough to be a mobile phone background.

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Literal captions

The monkeys you ordered hosts a ‘literal caption’ for The New Yorker caption contest art.

For the above image they went with, “How did Spot get opposable thumbs?”. Not my caption of choice since it’s not very literal or real, given the talking dog and their knowledge of opposable thumbs. Rather it reads more like an actual caption contest winner. Plainly speaking it is not very good for a literal caption.

I would have gone more along the lines of, “this dog suit is really freaking these mutts out” or “A typical summer day on The Island of Doctor Moreau”.

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